the science of selling myself short
Less Than Jake sings a song titled “The Science of Selling Yourself Short”, which is really too fitting for me. I feel like the song title describes the story of my life. In general, I’m not a very loud person, and I don’t usually toot my own horn very much. Sometimes I wonder if I really err too much on the side of being too quiet about my accomplishments and end up selling myself short.
I was at something recently where the whole string of events just bothered me. It was at an alumni event, and as much as I still love Virginia, the longer I am out of college, the more I feel like the whole place was just a giant hairball of pretentiousness. Inevitably, because of the presence of young alums, the Lawn came up in conversation. So-and-so attending the event got called out as “oh, see her over there, she lived on the Lawn, too!” And the next person. And the next person. Until a group of former Lawnies all gathered together and shared the funniest stories from their respective years living on the grassy knoll.
Of course I felt left out. No one brought me up; no one even knew about me. I guess I could have easily said, “Hey guys, wait a minute. I lived there, too. Don’t forget me! I applied, got chosen, and then went and became Head Resident! Me! Me! I need reaffirmation of my worth as measured in Lawnie-status, too!”
Of course I didn’t say that. I really wanted to. In the end, I said nothing and just chit-chatted with the rest of the people, listening politely to the Lawn stories that were told. Before long, the conversation topic shifted, and the whole episode was forgotten. For me though, I still kept wondering just why was it that I always inevitably feel like I sold myself short, and furthermore, why is it that others do the same to me, too?