conquering the world one oxymoron at a time
Archive for August, 2006
August 14, 2006 at 2:34 am · Filed under daily grind
Some pictures: Yoni’s bday, Laura’s wedding
Yoni’s birthday thing was friday night at Umbria. All day Saturday, I played 5.25 ultimate games during the summer hat tournament. I had to leave early to drive to New Jersey for Laura’s wedding, which was so absolutely gorgeous and touching. Great fun all weekend long, but I am e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d, especially since this is the 6th weekend in a row that I have gone out of town. Time to take a breather before the kids come back to school. Summer’s almost over :(
August 11, 2006 at 6:34 pm · Filed under music
Wait, where the f- have I been?? Guster’s playing the Bank of America Pavilion tonight and tomorrow night, and I find out through stupid Myspace?? Gosh, I am so clueless. I didn’t even know they were touring. Maybe this whole floating around with no direction thing really doesn’t work out so hot. I can’t believe I’m missing Guster.
August 10, 2006 at 4:12 pm · Filed under life thoughts
I’m in another one of these “how did I get here” ruts (previously, see here and here). Today’s bout was triggered by the iPod nano that arrived in the mail (it actually got here yesterday; I was just too oblivious to notice). Staring at my own reflection in the shiny metal backing of the nano, I wondered if my impulsive decision on the inscription was such a good idea after all. Memories will stay with me forever, and I want them to be there when I feel introspective and nostalgic, but do I want to be reminded daily of the once-upon-a-time happiness, and of the ensuing pain?
It’s still hard for me to believe all that has transpired in this past year, the changes in my attitude and the changes in my relationships with those around me. Today, I am surrounded by people I call close friends whom I didn’t even know existed last summer. A future I was so certain of last August is no longer there (40-50% chance, he said when I pressed him on it, but I knew in my heart that it was zero even before I asked the question). A lab/project I hated is no longer a part of my life. Friends whom I thought would be around forever are gone, both effectively and literally.
Last August, I was counting down the years until May 2007 (”Only two more years,” I thought). This August, I still care, but in a different way (”I hope he moves to DC, and not Chicago,” I think). Last August, I had plans to go to Ireland in November (”It’s kinda your homeland,” I tried to convince Ryan). This August, I find myself counting down the days until September 1 and wishing I were less superficial about Irish. Last August, I was ready to quit grad school to go back to selling my soul because anything’s better than grad school. This August, I am happy listening to Damien Rice’s haunting lyrics while I put off lab work because grad school is flexible like that. Last August, I was confused about “What’s in a name”. This August, I couldn’t care less, though in my dreams I still occasionally see things I would rather forget. Perhaps my subconscious is still acutely aware of the pains/regrets/giddyness of yesterdays, despite my waking hours’ logic and reason telling me I am okay.
And where am I going now? I don’t feel very in control of my life; I feel like I’m just going along with what each day hands to me because that’s what’s easiest. I feel like I tried the being-in-control approach, and ended up nowhere near where I thought I would be, so why even bother trying? Just let it flow.
A friend told me yesterday that he was “swigging it”. I paused, confused, and he explained, “SWIG–see where it goes.” “Oh, I see,” I said, “in that case, let’s swig it together.”
August 10, 2006 at 12:41 am · Filed under daily grind
Just like I caved with gmail, I caved again, this time with ipods. I broke down and bought my first ipod, a nano with personal inscription that is currently making its way toward Cambridge all the way from Shenzhen, China.
I refused to get an ipod for three years. My parents have asked multiple times if I want one for christmas/birthday/random present, and I have always told them no. I don’t know why I was so opposed to jumping on the ipod bandwagon, or any bandwagon in general. I think I was opposed having an ipod as a fashion statement, which is what I saw the ipod to be. I felt like people were using it as a status symbol,”Oh, look at me, I’m so cool because I have white earbuds in my ears.” I didn’t want to be one of THEM. Having an ipod was too trendy for comfort.
So why did I finally cave? I’m not sure. I think maybe because ipods are so prevalent now, I no longer think of it as a status symbol. Additionally, I truly think that I could use one. It’d be great to have some music while I do experiments, while I walk places, while I run around the river, while I ride a bus, while I sit in the student center, and while I pretend to not be able to hear people talking because I have earphones in.
August 8, 2006 at 10:06 pm · Filed under fitness
I don’t look like I’m trying that hard in the bike picture. I also don’t look very happy to be crossing the finish line, but the cameraman did capture me in a moment of levitation.
August 4, 2006 at 11:37 am · Filed under fitness
Three-time Tour de France winner Greg LeMond came to meet and greet people at the International Bike Center in Newton yesterday. So like the true bikers that we are (yeah right), we drove all the way out there in rush hour traffic worsened by a game at Fenway, just to shake his hand. He was such an incredibly nice guy. Jack said that Lance Armstrong is actually a big jerk, so we joked about telling LeMond, “Man, you’re so much nicer than Lance!” But we thought that may have been a tad inappropriate.
We do now each have Greg LeMond posters signed by the legend himself :)
me, obrad, greg, danilo, jack (we’re such groupies)
Jack being stupid with a chain lock
August 2, 2006 at 11:05 pm · Filed under dating/relationships
I know we are all liberated women and all, and I’m all for gender equality, but come on, don’t hand me your business card and tell me to email you. That thing’s getting dropped like a rock in a swimming pool. Get some balls and just ask me for my number already. And then actually call.
Is this the typical bitchy girl behavior that men hate? Am I making it worse for you men out there? But really, if you man up and ask me for my number, I’ll woman up and probably give it to you just because you asked. Don’t give me this shit with the business cards. I don’t care where you work; that don’t impress me much. And I sure as hell am not gonna email you just to say “hey”. You completely slammed that door in your own face as soon as you handed me that business card.
Maybe it’s an Asian men thing. I’ve never had a white guy (or guy of any other race) hand me a business card. But you Asian men, you not only carry business cards on you at all times, but you hand them out to us hoping that we will email you. Come on now, haven’t we all perpetuated the socially-awkward-and-unassertive-Asian-nerd stereotype long enough? I know you’re better than that. You should know that too.
So go on now, be a big boy, just ask me out already. You’ll get a helluva lot farther than your business card ever did, ’cause I hate to say it, but that card’s going straight in the trash.
August 2, 2006 at 10:35 am · Filed under random
We’ll always miss you.
August 1, 2006 at 12:53 am · Filed under grad life/MIT
I am a friendly enough person. I don’t have problems talking to strangers; I sometimes strike up conversations with people while waiting in line, and I meet my share of random people. I am usually friendly, at first anyways, but I inevitably end up lumping a few into the creepy category, and I never ever want to talk to them again.
One recent example: a guy who works in a lab down the hall whom I actively try to avoid. I always manage to run into him when I walk down the hall to go to the bathroom. This was how we struck up a conversation initially; while walking past him, he stopped in the middle of the hallway and said hey. He seemed nice enough, so I introduced myself and asked the standard give-me-your-life-in-30-seconds questions. But then he WOULDN’T GO AWAY.
Most other people I’ve met on the hall are perfectly content with exchanging hey’s during quick walk-by’s in the hallway. Not this guy. This guy ALWAYS stops, making it hard to do a fly-by-hello, which is all I want. One time, I hurriedly pointed to my watch and fibbed, “I’ve got to run to a meeting!” and tried to keep walking, but he insisted, “oh? what meeting?” I have nothing to say to him; we have nothing in common, and there are always awkward silences during which I frantically try to come up with my next passive aggressive excuse to get away.
NOT to mention, and this is the worst part, he always manages to find some reason to pat me on my back, or lay a it’ll-be-okay hand on my shoulder, or reach out to turn my arm over and ask “where are those scabs from?”
Does he NOT understand that touching is unacceptable? Does he NOT realize that we do not KNOW each other, and thus exploding through my personal bubble is completely inappropriate???
I have started to go up a flight of stairs to use the bathroom, and soon I am moving my office upstairs as well. I know, I know, SUPER passive aggressive. But what else am I to do? I clearly cannot seem to be able to just confront the guy and deal with the situation, and what would I even say to him? “Please don’t talk to me anymore, creep”?
So, please, just allow me to remove myself from the situation.
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