conquering the world one oxymoron at a time
Archive for September, 2004
September 28, 2004 at 1:23 pm · Filed under wahoowa
So I flew to Charlottesville this weekend. It made me realize that it’s probably better that I didn’t stay in Charlottesville this year. I remember a couple of entries ago, I said something about how homecoming the first year out of school is the best time to go back because it hasn’t been long enough for it to feel alien yet. Homecoming the first year is probably still the best time to go back because things aren’t as alien as they would be say for the 5th Homecoming. However, I felt pretty alien in Charlottesville this weekend. Not alien in the sense of being in a different country where I’m unfamiliar with everything … but alien in the sense that I never once really felt like I belong there anymore.
During the Saturday afternoon Syracuse football game, I sat in the student section with a bunch of alums who just graduated this May. I’m sure we looked young enough that no one would ever notice that we were alums, but we didn’t FEEL young enough. Football games in general are a different atmosphere, and I hate Al Groh. Having a good football program doesn’t mean that UVA has to also become the traditional big football program school. The majority of alumni still hold dear to our hearts the tradition of decking out in our Sunday bests for games. What’s so wrong with that? Why must Al Groh try to phase it out?? Orange tshirts just are not the same, and 80% of the student section wore orange tshirts, including all the First Years who each got a free so-called “Orange Fever” official football shirt.
Friends are still friends, and it was great seeing friends. It’s actually funny how you get closer to people after not seeing them for a long time. Everyone of course asked about Ryan, which was a bit awkward for me, I think. I know that most people were just trying to make conversation, but it was a constant reminder that these people were HIS friends who only became my friends because Ryan and I started dating. I’m glad though to have had some free time to spend with my friends during the weekend, something I very much neglected to do Fourth Year.
It was a bittersweet weekend overall. I think the sweet part comes from the thought of actually being in Charlottesville again seeing friends and trying to relive the old times. Everything else was bitter, including the reliving the old times part because we no longer belong there! Grounds weren’t as beautiful as I remembered it; I think I played up UVA’s sights too much in my own mind while thinking about the drabiness of MIT.
My thoughts on UVA now, just mere months after graduation, is comparable to my thoughts on Governor’s School three years after graduating: the friends I have from college will remain with me, but I am content with not being there anymore. The past four years are wonderful memories, but memories are exactly that: memories.
Once a wahoo, always a wahoo. Wahoowa!
September 19, 2004 at 8:57 pm · Filed under grad life/MIT
My first weekend of reform = utter failure, partly my fault, partly Tang’s fault, partly Hurricane Ivan’s fault.
Friday night was to have been spent studying so as to catch up. Instead, I went out because it’s Friday, after all. That’s my fault, but can you really blame me? It was Friday night.
Saturday afternoon was to have been spent studying, but Hurricane Ivan blew the winds and the rains in. I got soaked and freezing cold walking back from Ryan’s that I spent the afternoon laying in bed getting warm. Saturday night was Kevin’s party, drank a little too much, didn’t get work done obviously. That wasn’t anyone’s fault because Kevin’s party was pre-planned fun.
Sunday afternoon was to have been spent studying, after getting breakfast at the Tang brunch thing. The brunch was rather anti-climatic; they were out of everything. Its terribleness affected my entire psyche for the rest of the day, rendering me unable to do anything except sulk in my own self-pitiness of sulking because I got none of the promised scrambled eggs and bacon at the so-called brunch.
Before I knew it, I had slept away another few hours, and dinner time rolled around. Ryan and I went out for dinner, got some hearty Italian while I wondered just how much weight I’ve put on in the past couple of weeks eating only hamburgers and hotdogs.
Now it’s 9pm, and in the three hours before going to sleep at midnight, I’m finally ready to do all the work that I had planned on doing this past weekend.
This is why I was never meant to do anything worthwhile; I waste all my time away.
September 16, 2004 at 1:36 am · Filed under daily grind
So, the whole last entry? Forget I really said that … because I’m back to my normal-procrastinating-bad-student self. After playing some poker, instead of going to sleep like a normal human being who has to get up in 7 hours for class, I decided to try to solve a rubik’s cube.
Still rotating and twisting … not in bed.
September 14, 2004 at 4:48 pm · Filed under grad life/MIT
Lately I think that I’ve become a reformed person. I get up early (around 8 or so, depending on the snooze button hitting pattern, something that I can probably never shake no matter how reformed I am). I actually READ textbooks, literally, page after page, word for word. I work on problem sets on my own, instead of relying on others already having done it and just showing me how to go about them. etc. etc. etc.
I don’t really know what brought about the reformation, nor how long it will last. I hope that it lasts a while (5 years? 10 years? forever?). There is a key distinction though … part of the reformation is that I WANT to understand what I’m learning, but wanting to understand is different from wanting to learn. I really don’t want to learn this stuff.
Laying in bed last night, I thought perhaps this new me was brought on by the shock of realization that I really am indeed in grad school now, some sort of inferiority complex that I should know more than I do, so I better get working. Maybe it comes from the general lack of distractions; namely Ryan, whom I only see on the weekends as opposed to every day for many hours at UVA. (and just to note, this past weekend when I saw Ryan a lot and a lot, I got no work done. I didn’t even start any work until Sunday night).
Whatever it is, it’s helpful for my classes for now, I suppose. I figure … I’m not stupid, if I work at this, I can get this information just as well as anyone else. At least I really have no desire to skip classes anymore … and here is where I formally apologize to the Jefferson Scholars Foundation for paying for my college education despite my having attended much fewer classes than I ought to have … I promise I won’t do that anymore. I know what’s good for me now.
September 10, 2004 at 10:14 am · Filed under daily grind
I’m sitting in a student office, waiting very (in)patiently for MatLab to finish installing on my laptop, and all I can think about is how happy I am that the weekend’s here already. First week of classes, and I’m sick of school already.
It’s also freezing cold up here. I see people walking around in shorts and skirts, and I am just absolutely amazed. I wear a sweatshirt, and I’m still shivering in class. I guess I’m really not in Kansas anymore.
I’m currently looking up flights to DC for a couple of weekends from now. I wish I could go back for homecoming … I think homecoming is the best one year out of college; I still know people there, I’m not disillusioned enough to not feel a part of the school anymore (or does that ever happen?) … but I’m not going back for homecoming, but rather two weekends later. Gonna fly to DC and hitch a ride with a friend. Thank the world for friends.
September 7, 2004 at 10:00 am · Filed under music, wahoowa
My UVA email account still works. If you search for me in the UVA directory, I’m still there, along with my status as an “undergraduate student,” my email alias, and my webpage address (on the UVA server of course). If you search MIT, I’m there too, with a little “G” designating my uncertain graduate status. Maybe UVA’s just really late in the game of deleting folks out of their database. Ryan just said to me yesterday that he wished UVA would just get done with it and delete us out of the system. Part of me wishes that, but a greater part of me am really glad it’s not yet gone. I can’t imagine how it would feel to finally realize that they’ve flushed me out of their system entirely.
On the other hand, MIT’s not that bad of a place. I’m having a good time meeting new people, but I also think that these first few days, people aren’t really themselves. It’s like the first few days of college; everyone goes into friend-meeting mode. Nevertheless, I’m glad to have made a few friends, and I feel so free these days walking around with no responsibilities. Too bad classes start tomorrow. It’s as Jump, Little Children says: “But tonight, not so far above me / Tonight, I’m sleeping under this utopian sky / And I don’t ever want to wake up / Please don’t wake me up”
Yeah, just let me sleep tonight and never have to wake up to tomorrow’s 8:30 biochem class.
September 1, 2004 at 12:00 am · Filed under grad life/MIT
So I thought that after moving to Boston, I’d have a lot more to talk about on here, certainly about stuff that’s a lot more interesting than my most recently read book. Well, I was wrong, partially. There IS a lot to write about, but so many of it is so trivial … like how many people I met today, what happened at orientation sessions.
When I first moved into my apartment last Friday, it was pretty bad. I hated my apartment because it was dirty and old and pretty shabby. But now I really like where I’m living because everybody else in this building is just like me: meeting new faces in a new place. It seems like a really easy going social place, which is good. Shows that even MITers know how to have fun! At least when we first come here … :)
Orientation goes on all week, which is exciting for two reasons. 1 - Classes are postponed. 2 - Free food. Reason #2 is obviously the most important one. MIT’s organized a lot of cool events for us too at way discounted prices. We all went to the top of the Prudential building in downtown Boston tonight to enjoy the beautiful night view of Boston from atop one of the tallest buildings in town. There’s a harbor cruise this weekend, and a hiking trip, and a whale watch next weekend. It’s all great. I just wish it could stay this way forever.
