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Archive for dating/relationships
March 7, 2006 at 2:49 am · Filed under dating/relationships
How to go from tax returns to getting married in 2 seconds:
dad: we think next year we probably won’t claim you as a dependent on our tax return because you’ll be 24, and we really don’t pay 50% of your expenses even now, like the definition says for claiming a dependent.
me: okay. wow, yeah, i really will be turning 24 this year.
dad: yeah, all grown up! that’s why your mom and i keep saying to you that it’s time to open your eyes and find a nice boy. back when your cousin was 22, your uncle was already so worried about finding her a nice husband to settle down with, and here you are, 24 this year and with no prospects.
me: dad, you can’t force these things. besides, there are some potentials.
dad: well, sure, you can’t force these things. but it’s about time you put some effort into this aspect of your life. it’s not an optional happy-go-lucky thing anymore; you’re at a point in life when you ought to be dating someone.
me: but dad, i AM dating. i’m just not interested in most guys, and i don’t really want to date anyone seriously right now
dad: well, like we said, you shouldn’t take it all so lightheartedly anymore. and once you find someone with potential, we should all talk about it
me: we’ll see about that.
“put some effort into this aspect of my life” … that line just kills me. PUT SOME EFFORT??? So I should now TRY to go out there and FIND random people to date just to say that I have put in effort, and I am working to find my future husband? UGGGHHHHHHH. so frustrated right now.
February 21, 2006 at 11:55 pm · Filed under dating/relationships
excerpts from a convo earlier today …
him: but i’d like to know, how exactly does one romance u?
me: honestly, when we were together, i felt like i was always being romanced
him: wow
him: the thing is, i can’t take credit for it
me: haha, wow, was there a mastermind behind it all this whole time??
him: yes
me: who?
him: u
him: i dunno why, but u made me feel like i was 8 again. u know? like when u kiss a girl on the cheek at that age and are so over come with emotion u run off? well i constantly had butterflies in my stomach when talking to u (unusual for me). so yeah, i always tried to do all i could to make u happy.
him: but i got a favor to ask of u: should someone ever sweep u off your feet, let him know
me: why? would it have made a difference with you?
him: actually, yes
me: this whole convo’s getting framed and put on my wall
him: yeah well, i’ll always remember it and that’s all that matters
January 23, 2006 at 11:46 pm · Filed under friends, grad life/MIT, dating/relationships, daily grind
because there always are aftermaths. Some directly result from the event, and others seem completely unrelated.
1) I felt like a queen this weekend. I will be eternally thankful for all the caring friends who went out of their ways to bring me movies, ice cream, beer, groceries, conversations, and some altogether well-spent quality time. I feel no less grateful to everyone who left comments, phone messages, and/or sent emails expressing their condolescences and offering to help in any way that they can. I truly am a lucky gal.
2) I am much happier now than I was last May about some life choices. This subject really deserves its own entry. For now though, it will remain a joyful afterthought.
3) I am already tired of a relationship that doesn’t even exist yet and will most likely never be. The games have gone on 2 months too long. I need to accept that “he’s just not that into me” and move on. I want to tell him how I feel, so that I will have no regrets or thoughts of “what if?” later on … but what I really NEED to do is to stop wasting time/energy on him and move on because he’s just not that into me. He is just not that into me. Repeat. Repeat.
4) I did not call my parents when the accident first happened (they were not one of my 2 phone calls … ), and I mentioned nothing of it when I called them yesterday. I don’t want them to worry unnecessarily (of course they will), and I don’t want them to have their hearts in their throats every time I tell them I’m going snowboarding/skiing from now on. I feel guilty that I have not told them yet, but I don’t know how to bring up the subject.
5) I am signing off of IM for an indefinite period of time. This actually already happened, since I haven’t really signed on since last Monday. While I enjoy catching up with friends, I inevitably stay up until 5am doing nothing except chatting on IM, and I always hate myself for it. I don’t like hating myself.
6) As calm and accepting as I am about what happened, I do ask “why me?” I am extremely thankful for how relatively well everything turned out, but I really could have gone on, perfectly happily, without another major scar on my knee.
January 9, 2006 at 11:51 pm · Filed under dating/relationships
Browsing Amazon again, I found the following table of contents (from He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo):
- He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out.
- He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you
- He’s just not that into you if he’s not dating you
- He’s just not that into you if he’s not having sex with you
- He’s just not that into you if he’s having sex with someone else
- He’s just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he’s drunk
- He’s just not that into you if he doesn’t want to marry you
- He’s just not that into you if he’s breaking up with you
- He’s just not that into you if he’s disappeared on you
- He’s just not that into you if he’s married (and other insane variations of being unavailable)
- He’s just not that into you if he’s a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak
Okay, okay, I get the point. But I must ask, when is he EVER into me?
December 8, 2005 at 11:00 pm · Filed under dating/relationships
I’m staring at my computer, and I can’t feel anything except an extreme sense of emptiness. Something my parents said to me over Thanksgiving break finally sunk in tonight and broke my heart all over again. While home, they off-handed said that they have had all of my “wedding money” set aside now for a few months. I guess as parents of a daughter, you never quite know when to start saving for her wedding, but you don’t set aside that lump sum until you’re pretty sure she’s getting married soon. My parents really did think that I was going to get married soon.
So what happened? He claims personality differences. I claim religion. We both claim religion, but he still stands by personality differences. I claim forever together as the reason to overlook those differences; he claims those differences prevent us from considering forever together. Two and a half years, and we still claim religion. We were fools to think that it would ever be different.
Weeks, months have passed. Goodbyes have been said. The tears have all been shed. Now why the emptiness all of a sudden again?
November 19, 2005 at 5:47 pm · Filed under dating/relationships
Twice within the past week or so, I’ve gotten the “come hither” hand gesture in a bar, almost Matrix style. Except, at least in the Matrix, Neo was motioning for Agent Smith to “come hither” to bring it on. According to my friend Yufei, these come-hithers that I’ve gotten are cop-outs because the guys don’t have the guts to approach me and thus resort to the come-hither gesture, hoping that I would go to them.
Also according to Yufei’s analysis, the gesture crosses international boundaries. So was there some new consensus that i wasn’t aware of where parents teach their sons the come-hithers instead of giving them the talk? “Son, if you see a pretty lady, all you gotta do is wave your fingers together a few times motioning for her to come over. That’s how your mother and I met back in the days.”
Maybe it’s all a part of men’s defense mechanisms against rejection. According to Xij’s wonderfully exciting rant, there are just too many “crazy-bitch-woman” in the world pounding men to the ground, ruining it for nice girls like us :)
October 30, 2005 at 10:05 pm · Filed under dating/relationships
… love means not loving for a while
… we have to take a risk
… singing offkey is the best sound in the world
… a hug from the right person makes all the difference
… we just want a piggy back ride
… we don’t know why
… it takes being apart to appreciate being together
… you are my sunshine
October 30, 2005 at 8:23 pm · Filed under dating/relationships
… it takes a detour to show us where the real path is
… we just have to leave it up to faith
… life has funny little surprises
… even our best friends can’t help us
… it takes a really really long time to realize the values of a decision
… life is unreasonably hard
… life shows us unexpected rays of sunshine
… we contradict ourselves
… it’s okay to just float along because we honestly don’t know what else to do
… we have to trust that everything will work out for the best
September 27, 2005 at 10:24 am · Filed under dating/relationships, music
“Sunrays And Saturdays” - Vertical Horizon
Open the window
Let the sunset in
If only for the last time
Let me see you smile again
I’ll take my records
You can have your books
I’m sorry I never read them
But it says so much about us
Always trying
To make love out of care
The perfect recipe
But something wasn’t there
Sunrays and Saturdays
Perfect starry nights
Sweet dreams and moonbeams
And a love that’s warm and bright
Sunrays and Saturdays
Friendship strong and true
Oceans of blue and a room with a view
To live the life you choose
You’ll write me letters
I’ll call you on the phone
A wire away from touching
And never quite alone
We’ll get to know ourselves again
And we’ll heal our hearts
It’s not that we’re bad together
We’re just better off apart
Always trying
To have one and one make two
And even though it never worked
I still feel love for you
I wish you
Sunrays and Saturdays
Perfect starry nights
Sweet dreams and moonbeams
And a love that’s warm and bright
Sunrays and Saturdays
Friendship strong and true
Oceans of blue and a room with a view
To live the life you choose
May 2, 2005 at 6:03 pm · Filed under dating/relationships, daily grind
I’ve always been against popped collars, but for some reason, it felt like the right thing to do to my polo shirt this morning. Thus, I’ve been walking around all day with a popped collar. Nobody’s said anything to me, which I guess is good. THe other thing is that the popped collar actually felt pretty good. I won’t ever make fun of anyone for their popped collars from now on.
I called my parents last night. They’re worried, as usual, because I’m sick with a pretty nasty cold/cough, which was pretty hard to hide over the phone. Anyway, so my dad told me about my tax returns, asked about my quals, and handed the phone to my mom. I then told my mom that a boy asked me out yesterday, and she burst out laughing. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing that my mom laughed when she found out that I got asked out. Then she asked me, “are you sure that he actually asked you out? maybe he was just trying to hang out with you as a normal friend.” Wow, thanks for your vote of confidence in me, mom. Then she was worried about Ryan, asking “Did Ryan get mad?”
For the record, no, mom, Ryan didn’t get mad, though he wasn’t as thrilled about me getting asked out as I was.
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