conquering the world one oxymoron at a time
Archive for daily grind
August 10, 2006 at 12:41 am · Filed under daily grind
Just like I caved with gmail, I caved again, this time with ipods. I broke down and bought my first ipod, a nano with personal inscription that is currently making its way toward Cambridge all the way from Shenzhen, China.
I refused to get an ipod for three years. My parents have asked multiple times if I want one for christmas/birthday/random present, and I have always told them no. I don’t know why I was so opposed to jumping on the ipod bandwagon, or any bandwagon in general. I think I was opposed having an ipod as a fashion statement, which is what I saw the ipod to be. I felt like people were using it as a status symbol,”Oh, look at me, I’m so cool because I have white earbuds in my ears.” I didn’t want to be one of THEM. Having an ipod was too trendy for comfort.
So why did I finally cave? I’m not sure. I think maybe because ipods are so prevalent now, I no longer think of it as a status symbol. Additionally, I truly think that I could use one. It’d be great to have some music while I do experiments, while I walk places, while I run around the river, while I ride a bus, while I sit in the student center, and while I pretend to not be able to hear people talking because I have earphones in.
July 25, 2006 at 2:36 am · Filed under daily grind, pictures
I didn’t have time to make an album, so here are the low-res pictures from my camera from this past weekend. Maybe I’ll make an album when I get everybody else’s pictures, too.
I don’t feel particularly motivated to write anything right now, though I am brewing about lots of stuff in my mind … recent headlines in the news, various people&places&love&lovelost, bragging rights from something a couple of months ago, and how the summer’s more than halfway over. Maybe I’ll get around to updating in a couple of days.
July 6, 2006 at 11:43 pm · Filed under daily grind
So what the heck does that title mean? Such was the mystery for a few hours today as I realized just how terrible my Chinese is. I think I can communicate on a literal level with people, like the way a kindergartener can tell you that he likes blue better than yellow in the crayon box. Beyond that, anything remotely resembling literature, and all you would get from me is a completely blank stare, and maybe if you get me drunk enough, I will venture a guess by making up something ridiculous as I pretend to know something that I don’t.
So an old friend of mine puts “爱你, 非你莫属” as her gstatus, which “gstatus” in and of itself was a new word added to my vocabulary just today (okay people, I admit; I am getting old; i no longer follow the life and times of youngsters hip with the newest instant messaging technology). I looked at it, and I thought … “well, i know the first two characters, and I can pronounce the next three, but I really have no idea what it means. Dang, her Chinese is so much better than mine.”
I ventured to ask her “Girl, wth does your gchat away message-like thingy mean?” (I am young enough to know and use acronyms like “wth”). Turns out, she didn’t know either. Thus began a search that spanned hours as we asked friends, friends of friends, our mothers even, to figure out just what those silly few characters really meant.
Turns out, those characters mean “love me, and I will belong to you solely.” Let’s everybody hold hands now and altogether say “awwwwwwww.”
Yes folks, that is what it means. We, both being the girls that we are, melted knowing the true meaning of pretty words that we could somewhat pronounce but not understand. We, both being the non-native speakers that we try to deny being, recognized the true limitations of our language skills.
That made me rather sad, how terrible I am at my “native” language. But then again, not really. Because when did I ever understand poetry even in English? I don’t. You have to literally spell things out for me. Metaphors just don’t work with my brain. Sorry. Good literature is pretty much a wasted effort on me.
July 3, 2006 at 10:01 am · Filed under daily grind
Remember my first trip to the ER? The leg laceration that left me crippled for 2 months? That came just a few days after a sprained ankle.
Last Monday, I once again sprained my ankle, but it was well on its way to recovery when I crashed very badly on my bike yesterday. I think from now on, I will make a mental note whenever I sprain my ankle that it is a sign of worse injuries/accidents to come.
I was out biking with Danilo, Alex, and Jack yesterday when we decided to do a little “race” back to S&P. So I built up to about 25mph going down the straight-away of Albany street, but me being stupid and inexperienced, tried to round the corner onto Pacific while still going full-speed. A combination of not leaning enough and the road not being wide enough, I crashed, head first, into the sidewalk at 25 mph. I saw a big white spark when I felt the top of my head hit the curb.
Reasons I am lucky:
- I was wearing a helmet, which absorbed the majority of the impact. You should see the helmet (maybe I’ll take a picture of it and post it). It is f-ing scary. I took it off after I got up from the crash, and I looked at it and shuddered. There is a big dent at the top, and the foam is cracked in multiple places. That would have been my head.
- Despite the major head-first impact, I injured no neck vertebrae, spinal cord, anything major that would have left me paralyzed.
- Once again, I have some wonderful wonderful friends who stuck by me and made sure I was okay. Eternally grateful to: Danilo, Yoni, Alex, Oaz, and Jack.
The trip to the ER in the ambulance was so that I could get some xrays to make sure I had no major neck injuries, just in case. They also flushed out all of my wounds. I have a few pretty nasty cuts on my left elbow, and ridiculous road rash all up and down my left leg.
Casualties:
- My bike. After convincing myself that I am okay, this was the saddest part. Some not-so-pretty scratches on the seat and handlebar, but most of all, a HUGE dent in the top-tube :( It was such a beautiful bike.
- My ring. The turtle ring that my dad bought me took some major dentage. I probably have to find a jeweler to get it reshaped :(
- Some major skin cells that are now driving my fibroblasts and neutrophils into full-combat mode.
Once again folks, I am okay, and I was so extremely lucky. So how about that luck of the Irish?
June 21, 2006 at 11:45 pm · Filed under daily grind
When I was little, my dad used to always say to me, “Even if you don’t say anything, nobody would take you to be a mute.” Take-away message? Keep your mouth shut. I need to take my dad’s advice a bit more solemnly, especially since my impulsive response in a conversation is to quantify what someone else has said, or to correct it.
Today, a guy came to look at the Gary Fisher Wahoo bike I finally put up on craigslist after buying a green, mint-conditioned0 2005 Marlin myself for a spectacular price off of craigslist. (sidenote: The guy came to look at the bike with a girl, who was the one actually shopping for a bike. Have you noticed that girls buying things on craigslist inevitably brings a guy to look at the merchandise with her? I know I did when I bought my Marlin and snowboard.)
Anyway, my craiglist ad said that the bike is a 2001 or a 2002 model, but that I wasn’t sure which year exactly. This became a point of contention.
It started because of some off-handed remark the guy made to the girl about how Gary Fisher bikes have this special Genesis geometry with a slightly longer top tube, so he wanted to make sure that her arms are stretched out the right distance when sitting on the bike. Having done some research myself in the past weeks about Gary Fisher geometries, I wanted to add my knowledge of bikes.
So without thinking, I said, “Oh actually, this bike doesn’t have the Genesis geometry. I think it is a model or two before genesis was introduced.”
I think this comment really pissed the guy off. First off, I was questioning his “authority” in front of his lady friend who obviously thought him expert enough to bring along to help her shop for a bike. Secondly, I didn’t even give concrete information.
“What year did you say this bike was again?” he asked.
“Either 2001 or 2002, I am not sure which,” I answered, quoting my ad. Sensing doubt on his part, and because I was curious myself, I asked “So when did the genesis geometry come out?”
Wrong question to ask.
The guy very quickly quibbed, mistrust glaring, head tilted back, in a haughty voice, “1998. This bike can’t possibly be a 2001 or 2002.” (The emphasis here is on the word “possibly”, complete with eyes rolled to the back of his head).
Essentially, he called me a liar who posted wrong information on craigslist. I felt insulted that he questioned my honesty, and I felt more insulted for being thought to be dishonest in the general community of craigslist. I get the feeling that craigslist has this aura of honor surrounding it, and I value that honor and integrity, and I definitely don’t want to be the story someone tells about the one time that craigslist screwed them over.
The worst part of it was that I couldn’t even respond to defend my personal integrity because I didn’t know what to say because I really didn’t know that much about geometries. The fact of the matter was that I was very positively sure that the bike was 2001 or 2002 from the paint job, but I was maybe 70% sure that the frame isn’t genesis geometry.
My first thought was “Shit, if genesis came out in 98, then this bike must be genesis, and now because I tried to appear not stupid, I have stuck my foot in my mouth and landed myself in a sticky situation where I look like a liar.” Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut and let him be the “authority”, smile&nod, and go along with his assertion that the bike is Genesis?
He ended up passing on the bike, citing some nonsensical excuse about how the bike is in poor condition, which is total bullshit. I think he passed on the bike because he thought I was a blatant liar and that the bike’s not worth half the amount I am asking because it’s much older than 2001 or 2002.
This really upset me as I pedaled away. I didn’t care so much that he didn’t want to buy my bike; I cared that he questioned my integrity. I was upset because I knew that he thought I was a sleazy seller and a liar, and there was nothing I could do to rectify that, and it was all because of my loud mouth trying to “show off” what little knowledge I pretend to have about mountain bike geometries. (another sidenote: notice how the girl played absolutely no role in this non-transaction despite being the one shopping for a bike?)
The first thing I did when I got home was to google google. It turns out that I was right on both the year and the geometry. My bike is a silver/green 2002 Gary Fisher Wahoo, but it does not have the Genesis geometry. It is a Classic Hardtail. The guy was right that genesis came out in the late 90s, but when it came out, it was considered “high-end” and was not offered on an entry-level bike such as the Wahoo. In fact, the Wahoo maintained a classic geometry until 2005. Last year’s model was the first model in which the Wahoo featured the signature Fisher Genesis geometry.
Well, now I know, for the next potential buyer. Also, I need to take my dad’s advice to heart because really if I just keep my mouth shut, nobody will think that I am a mute.
June 13, 2006 at 10:06 am · Filed under daily grind, people
I am not a fan of small talk (is anyone?), but recently I thought that I was perhaps getting better at it. Really though, I now realize, I can only do small talk with someone somewhat around my age who is a student. Put me in a room with older folks, and I don’t even know what questions to ask. I hate the “so what do you do” question, so I try to avoid it, but in the end, I just make awkward situations because there is no other way to find out what someone does for a living. Honestly, when I do ask that question, it’s not even because I am trying to make conversation. I am actually curious what the other person does.
The problem is that I don’t know how to ask the question or how to have a conversation with someone older, working. I think I get intimidated as well because I feel like they are on a different level than I, and who am I to ask them what they do? I feel stupid talking to these people, and I feel like I am wasting their time. The conversations inevitably go something like this:
me: So, are you working? (**mistake #1: never ask yes/no questions)
other person: why yes, I am
me: Where do you work?
other person: lalalala (**some place I have never heard of)
*awkward silence*
Maybe this is the classic example of it being hard to connect with someone with whom I have no commonalities (is that a word?). It is much easier to talk to someone around my age, someone in school because that is what I do. I can relate to that and find common ground for interesting conversations.”So what school do you go to?” “What are you studying?” “Where are you from?” And all of these then lead into something else that may trigger conversation.
I think this is also a classic example of someone (read: me) who is extremely introverted who has managed to force herself to learn the “tricks-of-the-trade” to be “social” in small-talk situations, but only when those situations involve people in her age group. I think a natural extrovert would never really have trouble talking to anyone because they are not awkward. Thus, I am the one who makes situations awkward.
May 31, 2006 at 3:20 pm · Filed under daily grind
I wore my orange Virginia shirt today, and got a couple of “wow, is that a new shirt?” comments, including one from my advisor. This seems a rather odd coincidence … why would multiple people think that my shirt is new? Perhaps the orange too bright.
I also signed onto IM for the first time in a long time today. I think I just kinda forgot about IM for a while. It started because my laptop caught a virus (from an IM, ironically). Because of the virus, I disabled all of my internet connections. When I finally got my laptop online again a week later (after delaying the re-formatting process as long as I could), I forgot about IM. Maybe this is a sign that I am over my addiction.
Speaking of being over things … Ryan and I had been in email contact back and forth for a couple of weeks last month. His last email made me sad, and I had meant to write back (not to say that I was sad), but then I put it off and just never did it. That’s rather unusual as well. Sure I am flaky with email, but I have never been flaky with emailing Ryan.
My parents were up here in Boston for Memorial Day weekend. I forgot how much I missed them until they spent a few days here. I almost cried when I drove back from dropping them off at the airport (oh yeah, and they brought me a car!). They also met Jack, and the first thing my mom said to me when she met him (in Chinese, of course) is “oh my god, he is so amazingly handsome!” SCORE!
May 26, 2006 at 8:21 am · Filed under daily grind
I lost my cell phone … again, except this time I am not all that much at fault. I did leave it sitting on the steps of the student center, but only for a couple of minutes before I realized that I had left it. When I went back, it was gone. I called it; Jack called it; other people called the phone, never an answer. I talked to Verizon, and they told me that outgoing calls were being made from the phone, and a girl I know emailed me apologizing for having missed my call. Why would the person make those outgoing calls? Why would they call this particular girl? Why is MIT such a sucky place? Not to harp on UVA’s Honor Code any more, but this would have never happened at Virginia. You can call me naive or idealistic all you want, but I am absolutely certain that this would have NEVER happened at UVA. Honor just carries much more weight in students’ minds.
On top of this, my laptop caught a virus. A virus that Hector IMed me, no less. Me being my overly eager self thought, “oh look, Hector IMed a picture, how nice”, so I clicked on the link, and the rest is history. I realized it was a virus as soon as it happened, and I wanted to bang my head against the wall for how stupid I was. Because of the virus, Windows refused to boot up and I had to reformat and reinstall. Royal pain, but it did force me to reformat and clean up, which I have been meaning to do for a while.
April 16, 2006 at 12:55 pm · Filed under daily grind
… are the moon and tide
trying real hard to get on my bad side?
I made a moonlight wish with the stars and the fish
just to be happy not to be selfish
- Bad Side by Jump, Little Children
There was something I was dying to find out a few months ago. At one point I suspected a particular answer, but I put it out of my head in denial/self-defense/general disbelief. Soon, I stopped caring and forgot that I ever even wanted to know. An off-handed comment that someone made today brought those thoughts back into the limelight because the comment seemed to confirm whatever suspicions I had initially. After some digging around for dirt, I most definitely got a confirmation, and all of this now has me spiraling down into depression.
I really just don’t understand why things turned out the way that they did, and this extra tidbit of information only nags at me more. I want to “just be happy and not be selfish”, but I can’t help feeling pangs of resentment. I was happy with having unconfirmed suspicions; I was happy not knowing the truth; I was happy forgetting that I even cared. All of this gave me no reasons to dwell in the past.
I really do wish that this had never surfaced today, or ever. Drown information drown. Ignorance was bliss.
April 5, 2006 at 1:28 am · Filed under daily grind
I started my Kaplan job today, teaching a GMAT test prep class that meets twice a week for 4.5 weeks. I was supposed to administer a diagnostic exam tonight to my students, except I started 40 minutes late. Why? Because I was an idiot and thought that 75 minutes + 75 minutes was 1.5 hours, so of course I would have time to finish this diagnostic exam by 9pm, so let me just keep rambling on about nothing. All I need to do is to make sure I start the test by 7:30pm, and it’s okay if i start at 7:40 because what’s 10 minutes anyway? Oh, except 75 minutes from 7:40 is 8:55pm … ohhh wait … I’m supposed to finish administering this test by 9pm … oh crap … 75+75 is 2.5 hours not 1.5hr. Umm … what do I do now?
Ye-ah. First day on the job. I am a complete idiot. Reminds me of when I wore white shorts to school the first day I started at Burtsfield and managed to sit in a puddle of black paint before it was even lunchtime. True story.
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