Philip, who was up here visiting two weekends back, asked me today if he could pose a question to me. He said it was something he’s been wondering about, but is kind of awkward. Finally he said “When I was up there a couple of weekends ago, I noticed something in your closet when you were getting sheets out for me. Do you have a large fishbowl of condoms in your closet?”

Here are the four reasons Philip came up with for why I would have a fishbowl of condoms in my closet: 1) I got it as a gag gift, 2) I was stocking up because after all, I have been telling him about a lot of guys who have shown interest lately, 3) my parents sent them to me, 4) they’re left over from Ryan.

Okay, reason #3 is just plain weird, but none of the others are right either. Thanks for having such a wild imagination, Philip. Do I really seem like the type? Only reason #1 is even worthy of a response from me, and no it was not a gag gift.

I do have a fishbowl full of condoms in my closet. It contain condoms of all shapes, flavors, textures, and colors (like black). All GRTs can pick up a fishbowl of condoms to provide to our students however we see fit. I think some Tutors leave condoms in jars outside their door or something. I have just opted to throw that bowl of condoms in my closet. I did talk to all my freshmen about responsibility and the importance of safe sex.

The condoms do make for a good shock for people when they look into my closet; the sheer number of them is enough to stop most people cold. Philip was so shocked he was too embarrassed to even bring up the subject while he was here. Finally, his curiosity got the best of him today, and he just had to ask.

***Addendum: Phil’s reaction to this post***

Philip: and no you don’t seem like the type … i figured i must have been mistaken
me: you thought it was candy. a fishbowl of candy wrapped in condom wrappers
Philip: i thought that only because, while i was asking, i realized how crazy it is. That there’s no way you would have a bowl of condoms