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Conjured Activism

conquering the world one oxymoron at a time

the aftermaths …

because there always are aftermaths. Some directly result from the event, and others seem completely unrelated.

1) I felt like a queen this weekend. I will be eternally thankful for all the caring friends who went out of their ways to bring me movies, ice cream, beer, groceries, conversations, and some altogether well-spent quality time. I feel no less grateful to everyone who left comments, phone messages, and/or sent emails expressing their condolescences and offering to help in any way that they can. I truly am a lucky gal.

2) I am much happier now than I was last May about some life choices. This subject really deserves its own entry. For now though, it will remain a joyful afterthought.

3) I am already tired of a relationship that doesn’t even exist yet and will most likely never be. The games have gone on 2 months too long. I need to accept that “he’s just not that into me” and move on. I want to tell him how I feel, so that I will have no regrets or thoughts of “what if?” later on … but what I really NEED to do is to stop wasting time/energy on him and move on because he’s just not that into me. He is just not that into me. Repeat. Repeat.

4) I did not call my parents when the accident first happened (they were not one of my 2 phone calls … ), and I mentioned nothing of it when I called them yesterday. I don’t want them to worry unnecessarily (of course they will), and I don’t want them to have their hearts in their throats every time I tell them I’m going snowboarding/skiing from now on. I feel guilty that I have not told them yet, but I don’t know how to bring up the subject.

5) I am signing off of IM for an indefinite period of time. This actually already happened, since I haven’t really signed on since last Monday. While I enjoy catching up with friends, I inevitably stay up until 5am doing nothing except chatting on IM, and I always hate myself for it. I don’t like hating myself.

6) As calm and accepting as I am about what happened, I do ask “why me?” I am extremely thankful for how relatively well everything turned out, but I really could have gone on, perfectly happily, without another major scar on my knee.

2 Comments »

  Liang wrote @ January 24th, 2006 at 10:09 am

So, mate - your parents don’t read your blog? I have to be super careful about everything I write on mine because my parents read it obsessively; that’s why it is so politically correct. I don’t think it would make sense to have a “secret” website for me known only by my friends either, since my parents would Google it out eventually. My brother sometimes hides stuff by writing it as a comment in the HTML code, but once you know that trick it’s not so secret either.

Anyway, enough of this dorky rant! I hope you are feeling better. See you on Thursday, when you will receive a pack of Tim Tams for yourself to help you along the road to recovery…

  Katelyn wrote @ January 26th, 2006 at 12:30 am

People used to ask me why I didn’t go to med school. If what happened to you had happened to me I would have passed out on the spot. I hate blood (which is somewhat ironic because of my research).
I hope it doesn’t hurt too much. It sounds very unpleasant.

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