Despite now having lived in a big city for three years, I still don’t have the survival-essential city instincts. I don’t automatically assume that everyone may be out to mug me, and when people ask me for directions, I always stop to help. At one point, I did wonder why I seemed to be targeted especially frequently for directions. Back then, I didn’t really feel/realize the need to be more selective about stopping to talk to strangers, so I always helped.

This past week, while in Toronto, I walked home one night by myself (I had an early flight to catch; others in my group wanted to go out). I know one shouldn’t walk alone after dark, but really, what was I supposed to do? I didn’t have money for a cab (Canadian or US).

Walking along, I barely noticed a car stopped on the side of the street … Having already passed the car, I was surprised when the driver said something to me. City Instinct Girl (CIG) would have just kept walking, but my first gut reaction was to stop, turn around and very politely ask “What’s that?”

The man asked me for some directions. CIG would have walked off, or at the least perhaps made up something. I actually said “Sorry, I don’t know; I’m not from around here.” Mistake #2 in the books of city instincts: Reveal that you are not familiar with the area.

At this point, some form of instinct did kick in, and I turned on my 3-inch heels and walked away, ignoring anything else the man said (which included various ways to try to entice me for further conversation: “Oh? So where ARE you from?”, “Where are you walking to?” etc etc)

The moral of this story was that I need to gain some city instinct, be more alert/aware of my surroundings. It’s better to seem rude and offend a stranger (he’s a stranger!) than to put myself in any potential danger. I know I should do this (and I will try), but at the same time, I can’t help feeling a tinge of disappointment that our society has come to this.

Must be the southern-upbringing.