In a society of bigger is better, toilet paper rolls are now bigger than ever. What with double rolls, triple rolls, even quadruple jumbo rolls, it’s hard to buy a pack of regular, single-rolled toilet paper. Which raises the question: just what constitutes a single roll of toilet paper?
This question came to me when I saw “4 rolls = 8 rolls!” on the outside of a pack of 4 rolls of Cottonelle while ruminating the meanings of life in the bathroom. You don’t have to be an Asian whiz math kid to realize that there’s something wrong with that equality, not to mention that the pack clearly had only four physical rolls of toilet paper inside. What do you mean there are 8 rolls in there? Maybe my eyes are failing me again…
Clearly, these are all indications that the 1x single roll, whatever it may be, is simply too small. I think it’s high time for the toilet paper industry to stop lying to us (that or learn how to count). My pack of 6 jumbo rolls of Charmin does not equal 24 rolls. That’s just bullshit waiting to be wiped up.