For some reason or other, I have a tendency to sit in the wrong row on airplanes. I’ll see the sign for 5D, for instance, but I have trouble lining up the sign with the actual row, and I inevitably end up sitting in 6D. It’s rather embarrassing, especially when I see a cute guy walking up to my row, make eye contact, and I think he has the seat next to me, but really he tells me that I’m sitting in his seat, and I have to gather up my book bag, my jacket, my purse, my magazine, and my book to move one row up to my actual seat.
On the second leg of my flight back to Boston today, I checked and double-checked before sitting down in seat 13A, positive that I sat in the correct row for once.
Some minutes later, a couple walks by and without addressing me directly (I was also engrossed in a book), the woman stops in the aisle next to my row and says to the man, “So is this our seat? But she’s in our seat.” The man says back, “Yup, she’s in my seat”, referring to me. I slowly start to close my book …
I then hear the woman say to her husband, “Oh honey, that’s okay. It’s a really empty flight; there are plenty of seats.” He agreed, but made sure to say, loudly enough for me to hear, “Well, yes, there are plenty of seats. I have no problems taking another seat, but she should know that she’s sitting in our seat.”
At this point, I closed my book, took out my boarding pass stub, looked up and very politely said, “Sir, am I sitting in your seat?”
I knew full well that I was NOT sitting in his seat, but I didn’t want to start out defensive and argumentative, so I took the pretend-to-be-dumb approach by acknowledging his accusation and offering to verify with my ticket stub to see where my actual seat is, but oh wait sir, my seat is 13A, this very row that I am in. Perhaps I’m not in your seat after all? (followed by a silent BUYA to myself).
He then said, very dismissively, “No, that’s okay, there are plenty of seats.” My brain registers the passive aggressive behavior, and I get pissed off.
Okay, pause.
The type of person I would LIKE to be is someone who in this situation would just go back to reading her book. So what if he thinks I’m in his seat? Let him think he’s right. My problem is that I am not that kind of person. With my pride, I simply cannot swallow the wrong accusation.
End pause.
The commotion the couple made was enough to attract an investigative stewardess, but since the plane was so empty, she simply told the couple to find a new row. I wasn’t about to let that go … so I showed my ticket stub to the stewardess, with a very inquisitive, “I think I’m in the right seat, 13A, am I not?”
She laughed, and said, “You sure are. He couldn’t have kicked you out even if he wanted to” and gave me a big smile.
You would think that I would then happily go back to reading my book; mission accomplished, right? But I didn’t; I closed my eyes and felt like an ass. Why did I have to prove that I was right? These are complete strangers; why couldn’t I just let that guy win the battle and think that I sat in his seat? Why couldn’t I just let it go??
I used to do this with Ryan. I never let anything go; I always had to have the last word, even when I knew I was wrong. I’ve learned since, to do better, but why can’t I just be the person big-minded and big-hearted enough to not care, period?