conquering the world one oxymoron at a time
November 22, 2006 at 2:37 am
· Filed under daily grind
How do you go about losing a friend? I guess when neither person stays in touch, you grow apart. But some friendships last forever even after years of separation and no contact. If there are residual resentments and/or reservations, then the friendship is lost with loss of contact. But when good friends are such good friends, how can we even let small trivialities get in between us? Soulmates are meant to last forever, not 10 months.
I think I lost a friend. I’m pretty sure I lost a friend. Yet, I don’t really know how I could have acted differently to have retained the friendship. I felt like I was honest, though perhaps too much honesty can come to bite us in the end. But I think I can go to sleep at night knowing that I was as honest as I could have been, no more, no less. In the end, honesty should strengthen a strong relationship. Maybe ours just wasn’t all that strong of a friendship; it would have worked better as something else, but when that something else just wasn’t on the horizons, the friendship fell out from under as well.
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I’m gonna try to not offend anyone in my comment this time. :-)
Thank you for sharing your experience. I was just thinking today, “Maybe the world hates me,” because I’ve actually lost a number of friends I never knew I’d lose. And I, like you, look at how I acted but really can’t see that I committed great evil or that I could have / would have acted differently without losing my *values*. But I guess we still question things when we lose someone. We question ourselves, we question the friendship, we question our clarity of vision. And I think vision is what it comes down to. Some people don’t look at friendship the same as we might - whether it’s the need to be honest, to stay in touch, or to just say “thank you” now and then. But in the end, at least we can be honest with ourselves and know we tried our best to be decent human beings. There are good people out there who just don’t have adequate etiquette skills, who haven’t matured completely yet. We meet them, enjoy their company, and keep them with us until these wedges drive us apart. Is it “better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?” I just don’t know anymore.
Cheer up - it’s Thanksgiving tomorrow. Give us single grad students a good reputation and enjoy the day. Cuz it would be lame to not celebrate and spend the day studying instead. Haha. Hahaha. Ha…ugh…I’d better go study. :-p
[…] I think the sad-inducing song makes me feel better about life in general because it lets me wallow in my own self pity, which for whatever reason is what I really need and want to do right now. It makes me reflect and miss people … friends, family, relationships, people I wanted to have been in better touch with … 全世界都不理我的时候， 只有你不可以不理我。 […]
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