When I first started a blog, I wanted everybody to read it. I put a link in my profile on AIM, hoping my friends would click on it and discover my blog. I would randomly drop the fact that I have a blog in conversation hoping that those I was talking to would go check out my blog. Now I wish I hadn’t done all that. I also wish I had not ported my entire blog over to my own domain. I mean, come on, google “shan wu”, and the first search result that pops up is this blog. No semblance of any anonymity at all.

As the readership of this blog grows, I no longer have a good idea who reads this. I know some friends who do, but they’re not the ones who worry me. Nor am I even that worried about my parents finding this; there’s nothing in here I wouldn’t tell them anyways.

I am afraid of the acquaintances who may be border-line stalkers (not that there is anything wrong with being a stalker, because I am probably one of the worst stalkers out there). I am afraid of my students, my residents, my colleagues, random people I meet, people I am dating, friends of the past. I am afraid of the people whom I want to write about.

As a result, I no longer write anything controversial. This blog has become pretty bland, a peanut gallery where I comment on everyday mundane things that happen to pique my interest for no apparent reason. Whereas the things that I want to write about the most, the juicy stories, the people around me, the strange happenings, my personal thoughts … those are all the things I can’t write about.

The bottom line is that this blog has no anonymity. So I am thinking of starting a new one … one that I can actually treat as a diary. One where my identity is completely obscured.