Conjured Activism

conquering the world one oxymoron at a time

creepy people

August 1, 2006 at 12:53 am · Filed under grad life/MIT

I am a friendly enough person. I don’t have problems talking to strangers; I sometimes strike up conversations with people while waiting in line, and I meet my share of random people. I am usually friendly, at first anyways, but I inevitably end up lumping a few into the creepy category, and I never ever want to talk to them again.

One recent example: a guy who works in a lab down the hall whom I actively try to avoid. I always manage to run into him when I walk down the hall to go to the bathroom. This was how we struck up a conversation initially; while walking past him, he stopped in the middle of the hallway and said hey. He seemed nice enough, so I introduced myself and asked the standard give-me-your-life-in-30-seconds questions. But then he WOULDN’T GO AWAY.

Most other people I’ve met on the hall are perfectly content with exchanging hey’s during quick walk-by’s in the hallway. Not this guy. This guy ALWAYS stops, making it hard to do a fly-by-hello, which is all I want. One time, I hurriedly pointed to my watch and fibbed, “I’ve got to run to a meeting!” and tried to keep walking, but he insisted, “oh? what meeting?” I have nothing to say to him; we have nothing in common, and there are always awkward silences during which I frantically try to come up with my next passive aggressive excuse to get away.

NOT to mention, and this is the worst part, he always manages to find some reason to pat me on my back, or lay a it’ll-be-okay hand on my shoulder, or reach out to turn my arm over and ask “where are those scabs from?”

Does he NOT understand that touching is unacceptable? Does he NOT realize that we do not KNOW each other, and thus exploding through my personal bubble is completely inappropriate???

I have started to go up a flight of stairs to use the bathroom, and soon I am moving my office upstairs as well. I know, I know, SUPER passive aggressive. But what else am I to do? I clearly cannot seem to be able to just confront the guy and deal with the situation, and what would I even say to him? “Please don’t talk to me anymore, creep”?

So, please, just allow me to remove myself from the situation.

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4 Comments »

paula wrote @ August 1st, 2006 at 12:36 pm

hahahahahahahaha… i know. it’s not funny. and yet…

so, i do this with people i know want to stop and chat: i say “hey” the way i want them too and then i keep going while they’re talking to me. i’ve gotten fully around corners and into other people’s offices before while “not talking” to the person who wanted to hold me up. i also start the process early. for example: if possible, i see the person coming, decide if the situation is avoidable (do i have someone i have to talk to down *this* hall instead?), and then put on the “heinous bitch” face. now, since you cited the “i have a meeting” incident, this may not work with your annoyance, but if you look mean enough, sometimes people get out of the way. (he might just ask you about it and then reach out and touch you though). i’ve found that because i’m generally smily and happy all the time, the bitch face works especially well. it’s so unexpected, people don’t know what to think. i also love the non-committal “gotta run!” this implies that you wish you had time to stop (maintaining the passive aggressive front) and you don’t have to explain “what meeting.” i’m just busy okay!

so yeah, hope all that advice helps… probably a strong back to help you move would be more helpful - but this is all i got, so take it or leave it ;-) love ya.

Shan wrote @ August 2nd, 2006 at 9:30 am

so yesterday afternoon, i ran into him again … and he stopped to say hey … and i mustered up the best, the biggest miss america grin i could, waved back, said “sorry, gotta run!” and kept walking, instantaneously wiping the smile off my face as soon as my back was to him. score! :)

paula wrote @ August 4th, 2006 at 5:35 pm

YEA!!!!!

Keltheyounger wrote @ August 8th, 2006 at 2:49 am

Don’t you speak Chinese? You should have just responded in Chinese from Day One, pretend you don’t understand him or speak English. Or you could even learn a few phrases in Klingon - hey, who would know it’s not a real language? :-) (OMG - looks like you can actually Google “Klingon phrases” and get tons of hits…haha!) But seriously, you have a right to not have people getting their hands on you if you’re uncomfortable with it. That guy should be careful, lest he find himself being ejected from his lab for sexual harassment.