Yup, that’s right folks, me who swore I would never do this, delved into the deep murky waters of meeting people over the internet. I was very skittsh about the whole thing, but a suicide pact is a suicide pact. I left my profile up for about a week, and here is what transpired:
Day 1
This started because a friend suggested a suicide pact: I make a profile, and he’ll make a profile. At first, I said, “no no no no.” But then I thought about it, and I really couldn’t come up with that great of a reason for why not. So I picked a rather obscure site (instead of a big names like match.com) to minimize the chances of being recognized.
I went through a couple of iterations of a profile post, finally scrounged up a paragraph or two to describe myself, and then started listing characteristics for my ideal date: age 23-30, height 5′8″ or above, race/ethnicity any, body type HAS to be slender/athletic/average. The body type one is rather shallow I know, but looks and height are important! I really can’t deal with extra weight, and really, I would have prefered 5′9″ (so I can wear my 3″ heels), but I started feeling bad for the short guys.
My friend didn’t come through on his end and chickened out of making a profile (you know who you are, but I’m not gonna name any names, even though I’m bitter). By this time, I’d already plunged in … so may as well go along for the ride.
Day 2
Within a day, I had about a dozen responses (wow, this market is much bigger than I thought). They ranged from harmless but no thanks to eh, okay to one downright rude guy who wrote something about his big white cock, and offered me pictures. Um, no thanks, and why are you paying for a subscription just to send women lewd messages? (Having a profile is free, but you have to subscribe in order to send messages to people. I didn’t subscribe.) Since I had no subscription, I couldn’t answer anybody back, which was just fine by me.
Day 4
A few guys with a helluva lot of potential have now come through my Inbox. I am very tempted to just subscribe for a month so that I can write them back. So this is how these sites lure you in. I am also getting less skittish about this whole thing, and I even think about making a match.com profile.
Day 5
I learn that you can get a free trial for a few days, so I sign up for the free trial, and start writing people back, and I wonder if is it better to write back to say “Sorry, but I’m not interested”? Or better to just not write back at all? A few messages go back and forth between me and a couple of guys, which eventually moves to actual emailing without the stupid messaging interface of the service website (yes, against all better judgment, I gave out my email address).
Day 6
In a random search, I came across a guy I know, sending panic through me as I freak out thinking “omg, now he knows I’m dating online, how am I ever going to be able to spend time with him without feeling totally awkward???”
Day 7
Since I was emailing the guys with potential anyway with no need for the actual service itself, I decide that I am done with internet dating and cancel my subscription before the free trial runs out. I also make my profile unsearchable.
So what did I learn through all of this? Not sure. Maybe it was all just a part of me always wanting to try things out at least once. I think in general, I am also MUCH less skittish about this whole concept, and I no longer really care about that guy whose profile I found. I mean, he had a profile TOO! If I’m apprehensive about him knowing I’m there looking, he’s probably just as freaked that I may have found his profile.
Would I do this again, sure … but probably not for another few years when I’m not really meeting new people anymore in my own real life, and need some external help. In the meantime, there are still those couple of potentials who’s emailing me …