I am not a fan of small talk (is anyone?), but recently I thought that I was perhaps getting better at it. Really though, I now realize, I can only do small talk with someone somewhat around my age who is a student. Put me in a room with older folks, and I don’t even know what questions to ask. I hate the “so what do you do” question, so I try to avoid it, but in the end, I just make awkward situations because there is no other way to find out what someone does for a living. Honestly, when I do ask that question, it’s not even because I am trying to make conversation. I am actually curious what the other person does.

The problem is that I don’t know how to ask the question or how to have a conversation with someone older, working. I think I get intimidated as well because I feel like they are on a different level than I, and who am I to ask them what they do? I feel stupid talking to these people, and I feel like I am wasting their time. The conversations inevitably go something like this:

me: So, are you working? (**mistake #1: never ask yes/no questions)
other person: why yes, I am
me: Where do you work?
other person: lalalala (**some place I have never heard of)
*awkward silence*

Maybe this is the classic example of it being hard to connect with someone with whom I have no commonalities (is that a word?). It is much easier to talk to someone around my age, someone in school because that is what I do. I can relate to that and find common ground for interesting conversations.”So what school do you go to?” “What are you studying?” “Where are you from?” And all of these then lead into something else that may trigger conversation.

I think this is also a classic example of someone (read: me) who is extremely introverted who has managed to force herself to learn the “tricks-of-the-trade” to be “social” in small-talk situations, but only when those situations involve people in her age group. I think a natural extrovert would never really have trouble talking to anyone because they are not awkward. Thus, I am the one who makes situations awkward.