I feel like I am at a major cross roads in my life. I want too many things, and it is impossible to have all of it, but it is also impossible for me to make a decision. Phil’s right … I do have it pretty good … but I’m still not quite satisfied. I don’t think that makes me a bad person. Sure, I am selfish and sometimes inconsiderate maybe, but I don’t think I am alone in being selfish, and I still don’t think that I am a bad person.

Maybe I try to make myself older than I actually am sometimes. Maybe it’s because I never lived the “typical” college life that I somehow want to start now. Or maybe I just don’t quite know what to do with myself and how to rein in with some self-control. I think it is bad when I have to think about how to justify my decisions to others: friends, family, and then of course myself. I don’t want to hurt other people, but in the end I don’t want myself to get hurt. But maybe that’s just it … my selfishness has gotten to a level where I am seriously considering letting all else go and just make myself as happy as possible right now and then deal with consequences, say 3 months later.