I remember telling a friend not long after I got here that the difference between business school people and graduate school people is that the friends you make in grad school are friends you count on having for life, whereas b-school is just a place for superficial networking. That may have been too harsh on b-schools, but now I’ve also realized that I was way too naive about graduate schools.

What it comes down to are still the people, and there are all kinds of people everywhere. Grad students, as a whole, may be more grounded, but that doesn’t mean that our lives are devoid of backstabbing, nor that our friends forever remain good friends. Our acquaintances don’t even remain acquaintances, for good or bad. Those whom you don’t really care about drift into oblivion, and those whom you do care about eventually become friends.

After a year at this place, I see a lot of strong rifts even in my department’s small 20-person first year class. You have to wonder, how can merely 20 people manage to develop such complex webs of relationships and deceit? I don’t for one second think that I am innocent within this network; I am in just as deep as everyone else, but this isn’t what I’m used to. I began UVA with a similarly small group of engineers, the so-called illustrious Rodmans. Those 30 some odd people became some of my best friends, and still remain so. Can I then generalize this to be a difference between MIT vs UVA? Grad school vs undergrad? Or has overly strong nostalgia simply masked any bad memories or dealings I had with the Rodmans?

Outside of the department, there is even more drama. At least within BE, people are careful to not overly step on toes and put their animosities on full display for fear of having to work and see these same people regularly. It is a whole different playing game outside. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised; parting on bad terms is a whole lot easier with people you don’t expect to ever really see again except maybe when scurrying past them in dim hallways. The people I met my first couple of weeks here, those whom I chose to be friends with–and those who chose to be friends with each other–are displaying some of the strangest and most unfriendly drama that I have ever seen. I sometimes feel like some of them live in movies.

I guess most of all I am just sad and disappointed. We can put on facades for our professional lives, saving face in the context of the department, but we can’t put personal differences behind us for people who really do matter, friends with whom we chose to associate. Maybe this is the biggest lesson of growing up: we really aren’t innocent creatures (anymore) who develop pure relationships with each other. Somehow, somewhere, there is always something that pollutes the water and ruins it for everyone. I guess I just really wanted to believe that those things were left for ritzy swanks in 3-button suits, but I guess human nature crops up even in the simplest of places.