The older I get, the more I realize how much I need my girlfriends. Sadly, the older I get, the fewer girlfriends I have. Ever since this summer, I’ve been obsessed with the Sex & the City lifestyle. I want the parties, the clothes, the shoes, the men, and most of all, I want the girlfriends who are there no matter what, the girlfriends whom I can cry to, the girlfriends who will back me up and tell me that He’s bad for me.

I got brunch with a friend today, and it was one of those things that can only be described as “I’m so glad that I did this,” and lord only knows how much I have needed these things lately. It was so refreshing to have someone actually listen to me talk, someone who didn’t try to sum up all of my problems in one sentence and offer me unhelpful, overly-simplified solutions. It was a relief to be able to gripe for 10 minutes about how I FEEL without any interruptions, and to be told at the end of those 10 minutes the most understanding, the most heartfelt, the most thoughtful things. Most of all, I loved that she knew exactly where I was coming from, why I saw things the way that I did. She could relate to me.

So why is it that I have such a hard time finding girlfriends like this? Junior high, it was unacceptable to hang out with boys, so off I went with my girlfriends whom I still consider some of my best friends today. Magnet high was filled with friends whose bridal showers and weddings I attended. Governor’s School was the first time things got a bit different; I hung out with the math team and chess team and then played frisbee and pulled fire alarms (wait, did I do that?) when I wasn’t doing my physics homework. But through it all, there was always Ali. And sometimes I feel like I miss her more than anything else from high school.

But college … I am so thankful for the wonderful friends that I made for life at UVA, but they are also all male. Sure, being in the engineering school made it just a tad different from high school and junior high, but UVA was 55% female overall. Sometimes I wish that I had rushed a sorority, or been more active in SWE. Ugh. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.