I sometimes think that I am a very intolerable person, both of other people and by other people. Over the past year or so, I have grown to be an attention-hog. I constantly notice when I try to grab a conversation over to be about me, share MY personal experience, tell a story about ME. I almost always catch myselt, but only after the damage has already been done. In addition to the attention-hog syndrome, I have a tendency to ignore a lot of stuff when I don’t really care about them. This does not bode well for my friends, because it would seem that I only care to acknowledge their existence when I need them.

In addition to myself not being a very tolerable person to others, I have a hard time accepting others and not getting annoyed by them. I am quite prejudiced against people I have aversions to, and there are many people to whom I have aversions. I can’t see beyond the faults of others and admit to myself that someone is right, or has a good point, or is intelligently arguing something if I dislike that person. My first instinct in all of those cases is to counteract their opinion, standpoint, and fight it regardless of whether or not I am right. This makes me very stubborn and hostile. Also, little things unproportionally annoys me. I don’t have a very big heart for accommodating everyone around me and all of their quirks and faults, even though I expect others to do so for my faults. Even people whom I think highly of can with one action annoy me to no end for days.

I know all of this, but I can’t really seem to be able to change them. I try to keep down my temper and not show annoyance, but I can only do that for so long. And also ideally, I’d like to not even feel those annoyances; I wish that I could just not be bothered by the little stuff that bother me.

If I were able to change all of this about myself, I think Ryan and I would fight a lot less too.