Lately I think that I’ve become a reformed person. I get up early (around 8 or so, depending on the snooze button hitting pattern, something that I can probably never shake no matter how reformed I am). I actually READ textbooks, literally, page after page, word for word. I work on problem sets on my own, instead of relying on others already having done it and just showing me how to go about them. etc. etc. etc.

I don’t really know what brought about the reformation, nor how long it will last. I hope that it lasts a while (5 years? 10 years? forever?). There is a key distinction though … part of the reformation is that I WANT to understand what I’m learning, but wanting to understand is different from wanting to learn. I really don’t want to learn this stuff.

Laying in bed last night, I thought perhaps this new me was brought on by the shock of realization that I really am indeed in grad school now, some sort of inferiority complex that I should know more than I do, so I better get working. Maybe it comes from the general lack of distractions; namely Ryan, whom I only see on the weekends as opposed to every day for many hours at UVA. (and just to note, this past weekend when I saw Ryan a lot and a lot, I got no work done. I didn’t even start any work until Sunday night).

Whatever it is, it’s helpful for my classes for now, I suppose. I figure … I’m not stupid, if I work at this, I can get this information just as well as anyone else. At least I really have no desire to skip classes anymore … and here is where I formally apologize to the Jefferson Scholars Foundation for paying for my college education despite my having attended much fewer classes than I ought to have … I promise I won’t do that anymore. I know what’s good for me now.